Abuse Relationships

Why Some Stay In Abuse Relationships?

If you know someone who seems a bit secretive about their home life, and perhaps you notice something is wrong either mentally or psychically, you may suspect that they are living with an abusive spouse or partner. You may be wrong, but you are probably right more often than you think. You may also spend some time worrying about the person in question and wondering why any person would choose to stay in abuse relationships.

The answers are never easy to understand, and often as different as the person in question. Many people in these relationships stay for quite a while and some never leave.

Abuse is about power. The abuser wants to have power over someone, and that person usually ends up being the person they fall in love with, but love for them is different than for someone else. They may also end up being abusive to their children, but more often than not it is the wife (or husband) that bears the brunt of abuse in these types of abuse relationships.

Even when abuse is going on in the marriage relationship the children are spared any abuse, though they may witness mom or dad being abused, which can turn them into abusers in the future.

Why do some people stay in abuse relationships?
Sometimes it is the children that keeps them there. They don't want to take the children from a parent that may be very good to them and with them.
They may also find it harder to pack up and leave knowing they are going to have to go through messy child custody issues with the abuser once the relationship has been severed. They fear the abuser will use the children against them and try to take their children away.

Some stay in abuse relationships because they fear they will be killed if they try to go away. Abuse is not just about hitting someone.
It is also about mental control. Intimidation is used to make the victim fear the abuser and through this they control whatever they do or do not do. There are many people in abuse relationships that actually believe that they deserve the abuse. This is because the abuser has told them that for so long that they start to believe it.
They feel something must be wrong with them for someone that is supposed to love them to treat them so badly. They often don't consider that the problem lies with the other person.

Many men and women in abuse relationships will stay simply because they know it can be worse on them to leave. They fear being stalked, hurt, or even killed if they were to dare to leave. These fears are valid. However, that does not mean they should stay.

If you or someone you know is in abuse relationships, there are places to go that are safe. Most communities have safe houses and plans in place to help victims of domestic violence and other types of abuse. Don't wait around to die. Get out, find safety, and feel what it really means to be alive.