Shedding Light on Dating Violence

It is easy to say to yourself, It couldn't happen to me.î However, for women across the United States, dating violence is all too harsh a reality. Most of the time, we don't hear about intimate partner violence unless it is classified as domestic violence or requires medical attention. However, this narrow lens fails to show us the full picture, and in situations such as these, knowledge is power.

First, it is important to realize that dating violence can be verbal or physical. If your partner verbally abuses you on a regular basis, this can be considered dating violence. Verbally demeaning or manipulative behavior can have a negative impact on a person's psyche, and put them in harms way as the mental ramifications bleed into their day to day life. Much like physical internal bleeding, it can be difficult to see the effects of this kind of dating violence until the damage is wide spread.

Physical dating violence can seem subtle at first. You may think that a shove out of the way or the throwing of a pillow across the room during a fight is not a big deal, but that violence can escalate. What happens if the next time you fight, your loved one isn't holding a sweatshirt, but a set of keys? What if the next time they shove past you, you fall and hit your head? Even small acts of dating violence are unacceptable.

Dating violence can also transition into sexual violence. Because of the intimacy that occurs in dating situations, if aggression begins to manifest itself in platonic exchanges, it is possible for that to transition to the bedroom.
This is particularly alarming, given the stigma associated with saying no if you've said yes in the past. It does not matter if you had consented to sex an hour earlier. If you say no but your partner fails to listen, it is rape.

Dating violence is dangerous, because we often makes excuses for the people we care about. However, if people care for you, they do not abuse you on any level. Whether the dating violence is verbal, physical or sexual in nature, if it occurs, the best thing you can do for yourself is to extricate yourself from the situation.

Violence can easily escalate, so do not fool yourself into thinking it was a one time event. If you forgive an abusive partner, it is only easier for them to hurt you the next time around, because they know you'll let them get away with it in the end. It is a matter of protecting yourself and self-respect. Do not tolerate dating violence in any capacity.